People That Do Not Know What They Want

There is this person that I've dealt with on and off since last year. Recently, it has however been more off than on. I could see myself last year doing nothing more than being a part of their life. Whatever personal s**t that they got hit with, I only knew that I had to be there for them. I put myself into circumstances and situations that are beneath me and time consuming because I felt that they needed my support. The unfortunate part is that they never returned the favor. Whenever I needed them, they always had a damn excuse as to why they were no shows, or why they didn't answer the phone or why they were too damn incompetent. So after awhile the LOVE feeling started to drift away and I decided that I was not going to sit and wait for someone to realize that they wanted ME. S**T, I am doing wonderful things with my life, why would someone not want me, RIGHT? Wrong...I dealt with other people in the middle, but I ALWAYS seem to fall back on them. There was this..idk...way about them that just made me feel that I needed them with me. Everytime I went back due to them promising change, nothing changed. Absolutely nothing. They promised marriage, a ring, an apartment change or at least moving in with one another, support with both my son and my new business, but again nothing came out as promised. Do people that lead people on realize how fu**ed up that really is? How twisted of a person they must be to mind f**k? The better question is "DO THEY CARE?" I think the answer is no. Anyway back to them, I stay telling them that I am evolving and that their chance will past and they will not matter or exist to me anymore. I think this is merely a joke to them because they turn around and text "I NEED YOU" Yeah...right...lmfao! I think at the end of the day, people are just for themselves. It is the selfish attribute that they allow to surface, that keeps them from obtaining any positive lyfe experiences. Imaging that after all the sad, crying days, days of feeling lonely while dealing with the b.s., all the harsh comments and total disregard for me and my worth, they turned around and texted "I WANT TO STAY WITH YOU"! Yall know what I want to write, (but I don't know how many different races are reading this) so i'll just write "brother" puleeezzeee! Stay with who? Not me, the person that you totally treat like crap and only need me when you need me! You can stay right where you rest @. I wasn't important before, so don't make me valued now! This makes me so sick and I am definitely tired. Thank you for listening!

Natural Takers

What gives ppl the right to feel that they don't have to give you anything, but you must give everything. I get the message that ppl become used taking w/o having to actually give anything. That is so selfish. When you are in any relationship, where you like the person, you do everything you can for them. You take them out, you spend ya bread, you always make sure they have and most importantly, you show a genuine care. Now when you play devil's advocate and you look at what they give you, you se that you receive, attitudes, hand out all the time, stubborness, selfishness and pure exasperation like you are the problem. Okay, then you fall aprt and we becomes I. What makes them think that when it is all over, that they still have the right to reap the benefits of what it was when they had you. They ask you to still do s**t for them and give them things like you dtill deal with them. When they left you. The crazy part in the end, all that they show you by still having their hand out is that they were taking you for nothing more than a giver. I'm so sick and tired of dealing with that b.s. What makes ppl not understand that ppl should not be used. If you are done with them, simply leave them alone. Don't act nice just so you can still get. Don't ask for s**t, get a no response and then say..."I really didn't want it, I just wanted to see what you were gonna say". YEAH RIGHT. Your a** just tight cause the answer was NO! LOL...Thanks for listening as usual.

That's my boy

I love my son to death but the boy has a head, that is as hard as a rock. There is never a time that I've asked him to do something where I find myself repeating the job over and over again. Each morning he wakes up with this grim look on his face, like I have some nerve waking him up. "Boy don't you know that you have to go to school". I feel like telling him "Don't blame it on me, blame it on The President of The United States"...lol! He is truly something else. He forgets everything at school besides his body and when you ask him what happened to the things he takes out the house. He puts his head down and looks at me with this sad puppy face look and says absolutely nothing. I sometimes hear myself sounding like my mom. I tell him "Money does not grow on trees". He cracks a smile and that just pisses me off more. My child is something else indeed. If you are reading this and you are a parent, please leave a comment if you go through the same things. I'm quite sure you do though ....I AM NOT ALONE. Thanks for listening.

Gimmie a Break

When you tell a someone that you just want to take things slow, do you believe you are speaking another language? I think I am. If I sit down and tell you all the reasons that I do not want you to kiss all on me, caress me, blow in my ear and nibble on my ni**les then that is a sign that I am not interested in what you are selling at this time. It is not that I don't like you or that I DO NOT WANT TO LAY DOWN AND HAVE UNADULTERATED SEX, it's just that my past is preventing me from opening up wide (so to speak). I enjoy all of lyfe's valuable treasures but damn is too much to ask for when I say I want to take things slow. They thought they were going in for the kill when they decide to do the whole "I'm just gonna let my hands roam until you say stop" move. Well my shorty..STOP...lol! People seem to have their own motives and they do not take into consideration that it may have them looked at in a bad way afterwards. I guess that they just do not care. Well you know that their a** was politely asked to go home. It has been some days since we've spoken like that. I'm too grown for ppl to try 12 yr old moves on me. I mean my son is 9, he will be trying them on chicks in a few years anywho. Why do I want to have that in common with my son? Thanks for listening.

Poor Customer Service

Today I called this place because I needed to make a payment arrangement. I find that it is always some crap when you have to deal with your own kind. So I'm like talking to this damn woman on the phone...trying to explain to her that I get paid every two weeks and the day that they want the money in...I won't have it. Imagine I expected her to be totally okay with the fact that I could pay the day after it was due because of my pay date. This b*t*h told me to "borrow the money from somewhere" with an attitude. When I commence to telling her that she didn't have to go there, she rudely reminded me that she was not the one that owed money I was and she freaking laughed. Lol...she had nerve. Doesn't her ass know that if I had the option of borrowing, I would not be on the phone with her dumb a**. She had too much attitude for me and I wanted to curse her out so bad. It took everything I had inside not to curse her out and find some composure. I hung up on her, got myelf together (doing this while calling her a b*t*h under my breath) and found the courage to call back. I was so ready for her to answer the phone again, but to my dismay, it was another person. This woman was much nicer and she explaied to me that I had until Monday to make a payment and that the woman prior was not telling me the whole truth. I thanked her for the whole truth and hung up. this is the s*i* that I talk about. Those people that have to service others, know damn well that they are sometimes on the receiving end, so why the hell do they have to be so dam nasty. That mess kills me. Just once I wish i could take all crappy people that are behind the customer service and line them up and just throw rocks, cause that's exactly what it feels like they do with the nasty attitude. By the way...the first woman was black and the second was white. How do I know...I don't know...it was simply a better feeling. Thanks for listening.

I'm Just Not That Into YOU!

So I decided to try this whole chat thing. I had an interesting talk with a guy who is a "radio personality". He seemed interesting, although I never saw what he look like. We talked for hours about all lyfe's givings and takings. I was feeling him because it seemed like we connected on a...idk...higher level or whatever. Anyway, so he sends me his facebook page and tells me to request him as a friend. So here I am thinking about his height, the fact that he plays ball and that he had a great convo...lol! That was too much to think of for someone that looked like he did. He was busted...lol! like OMG busted. He was not my type and I let him know that I would no longer speak to him because he was unattractive in my eyes. Hey, everyone has a preference right? This dude commenced to cursing me out through texts after texts. I'm a bitch, I am like all the others, I can't find a good man, Fuck me and more. he even went as deep as to send me a pic of his penal sytem (LMAO). Can you say thirsty? I don't think he was mature at all. I mean come on, if someone is not someones preference, WHY GET MAD!!!! So now ladies and gents, I believe that I have a permenant stalker. He just hit my phone a little while ago saying I'm this fucked up person and what not. Negro puleeze. Nobody don't want ya ugly ass...get the drift! That really bugs me how someone could get that upset because they are not appealing. You just accept the rejection and you move on to the next unlucky woman. How desperate is a person to show their d**k to a totally stranger...saying this is what you missed. LMAO...how can a person miss something that ain't never have and if he is so quick to show me...imagine the places his penal system has visited in his 30 yrs on thia planet.